


When Skies Are Grey

by Metuka



Category: The Matrix (1999 2003 2003)
Genre: F/M, Post M1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-04
Updated: 2012-06-04
Packaged: 2017-11-06 20:51:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/423063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Metuka/pseuds/Metuka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pondering on your options isn't easy, especially when your soldier's mind and your woman's heart have opposite opinions</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Skies Are Grey

The One wasn't feeling well. After his death and resurrection, he had been taken and admitted to hospital with symptoms that weren't new to Trinity or Morpheus. They both had seen, even suffered, them before. It was what soldiers commonly named "plug burnout", a syndrome with a pompous medical name which was quite usual among the troops. Nothing serious, just too much stress and too little sleep that led to hypersomnolence, lightheadedness, occasional muscular spasms and a slight temperature.

Treatment was rather simple in these cases. Just some drugs to minimize the spasms, plenty of liquids and as much sleep as the patient needed. In a couple of days, four at maximum, the soldier was ready to return to their ship.

Tank had just died. Morpheus had just left with the operator's relatives and so, Trinity found herself on her own. Alone. Standing in a corridor, she was waiting for the doctor to announce what she already knew: Neo had plug burnout, no genius was needed to notice.

He had started feeling bad right after he'd returned to the Neb. He and Trinity had kissed and then, he had realized that the world was spinning all around him. At first he'd found it funny, a sign of love. The butterflies in his stomach had vanished and now everything was moving. It was like a merry-go-round.

But Trin knew better. She read it in his half-closed eyes, in his big pupils. He could feel as happy as he wanted, but love was not to blame. Without him saying a word, she passed her arm around his shoulders and helped him stand. As she had expected, he wobbled as soon as his feet touched the ground.

"I… er… Trinity… Everything moves".  
"No. You're just burnt", she stated matter-of-factly.

The doctor, a young man with an arrogant look in his face, left the room and told her the piece of news. Trinity nodded and looked at him defiantly. Making him look and walk away felt right as rain. She'd won. She always won.

Neo was lying on his back, his breathing a quiet, slow litany. He was wearing a horrible hospital gown some three sizes big. It had been clumsily tied and it was so worn out it seemed to be about to fall apart. Luckily, a rather newer sheet covered everything below Neo's waist. Out of shame and embarrassment, Trinity covered him up to his shoulders.

Trinity sighed and sat down on the sofa bed she was supposed to sleep on. It looked —and was— very uncomfortable and nobody had asked her to stay. After all, Neo would spent most of the time asleep and oblivious of her presence. Nonetheless, she knew she was spending the night beside him, no matter how bitterly her back complained the day after.

As she had expected, she didn't sleep much. She never slept much, anyway. She couldn't afford to do it and she usually felt too tired to get some quality sleep. That night, however, she had a better reason to stay awake. Every move Neo made caused Trinity to immediately open her eyes and sit up to check everything was right. A couple of times she even left her so-called bed to tuck him up.

A soft purr woke Trinity up very early in the morning and she decided it was the last one. She wouldn't force herself to sleep, she didn't need to. She rubbed her eyes and quietly yawned. Neo shifted his head and purred again. Had he opened his eyes, she would have been the first thing his eyes had seen.

"Morning, Neo", muttered Trinity.  
"Hmmm", was the unexpected answer she received.  
"Are you, um, awake?"

Neo took a deep breath and made a gesture with his hand. "Sort of", he meant. Trinity whispered an okay and smiled briefly taking advantage of his closed eyes. But Neo wasn't happy with that mini-conversation. He waited for his hand to stop shaking from a spasm and patted on the bed. He wanted her to come closer.

"What is it, Neo?"

He made a kind of moan with his throat and moved a bit aside in order to make some room for Trinity. Once again, he patted on the mattress. Quite reluctantly, she sat next to him, her legs hanging from the side of the bed. As fast as he could, Neo drowsily grabbed her and made her lie down.

"Neo, I can't". Neo wrinkled his nose, disapproving. He wasn't feeling conscious enough to speak, that was too much of an effort. Nevertheless, he was perfectly aware of Trinity by his side and of the fact that he wanted to have her as close as possible. That is why he heard her complaining but decided he wouldn't pay attention to her. "Listen, if a nurse comes…"  
"Hmmm!", he grunted. She touched his forehead. Neo lifted his eyebrows when he felt her fingers. He had a temperature.  
"You're not fine, I should go find…".

Neo had had enough of fair Trinity doing always the right thing. He held her close to his body and smiled. She fought a little bit, but eventually gave up. It made no sense. Deep in her heart she knew she wished to stay there. And if somebody didn't like it, she would tell them to go to hell in a way that would made them shut their hole up.

"Trinity", he managed to babble with his furred tongue.  
"I'm here". Neo nodded and caressed her cheek. Maybe he would soon be able to open his eyes a little bit. Maybe. Right now it was too tiring, not worth the effort. He would have plenty of time to look at her when he felt better, she wasn't going anywhere.

She sighed in silence. She was too concerned about the implications of him hearing her sigh. She might be in love, but love and trust were two very different notions. She could trust her life and safety to Neo or Morpheus, but none of them, especially the former, was "entitled" to share her secrets. "Better dead than vulnerable", that had been her unconscious motto since she had been unplugged. And it was a little bit too late to change it in that moment. Plus, she needed to be strong for Neo. The poor guy was lost and needed her.

"What's happened to me? Where are we?", Neo was thinking. But again, he felt unable to speak. It wasn't the kind of inability he'd experienced inside the white office where the agents had taken him. Now he had a mouth and a tongue, but they both seemed to enjoy giving him the finger. A finger which, by the way, was shaking badly. He needed his morning drugs.

Maybe an alien spectator could think he was pretending, playing a stupid game. He wasn't and Trinity knew. She knew the feeling, the urge to hold on to something real not to fall asleep again. She tenderly caressed his cheeks and looked at him. Whether she liked it or not, she had to be his salvation board in those moments.

"Hmmm… Trin…", mumbled Neo. He stirred and clicked his tongue, which was, quoting a song, twisted and more dead than alive. Stupid thing, remembering about the song in that moment.

"Yes?"

"Water".

Trinity rushed to get the metallic mug a nurse had left there the night before "just in case". Yes, Trinity was familiar to that thirst, she had experienced it first-hand. Neo was reaching his hand out trying to find the mug by its sound. Trinity held it for him and helped him drink. After he'd drank the whole mugful, she dried the two trickles of water that had slided down from the corners of his mouth to his chin.

"Do you want some more?" Neo shook his head. He made himself comfortable in her chest and purred. This time, however, he did it with pleasure. He sighed and uttered a moan. He was just buying some time to find the simplest way to express what he wanted, what he felt he needed.

"Come".

"I'm here, I'm not going anywhere, Neo".

"No… Hug". Trinity raised her eyebrow and refrained from crying "come again?" just in time.

"D'you want me to… hug you?"

"Hmm-hm".

"I should get up. If somebody-"

"Noo…", he moaned like a little kid.

Trinity snorted, but she did as he'd said. She was so tense and rigid Neo thought she would look like a living marble statue. Not many people had asked her to do such a thing and she found it rather disturbing. It was way too intimate. It sounded stupid, but she thought she didn't feel ready for it. Neo, though, didn't seem to notice. He was smelling her, caressing her chest with his cheek and smiling.

"Mine".

"What? My chest?". Neo made a negative sound and shook his head.

"You".

Trinity looked away and blinked twice. She was too puzzled to answer to that. Of course, she was in love, but that didn't mean belonging to somebody, did it? She knew they would probably start a relationship and be together at least for some time. And that simple, harmless idea panicked her.

Neo half-opened his eyes and found Trinity's, which were completely freaked out. Nonetheless, the second-in-command regained her apparent calm as soon as she realized he had noticed her anxiety. He would have chuckled if he had been more awake.

"You", he repeated, pouring salt on her wound.

Trinity didn't have the time to answer, not even to think about a possible answer to that. A nurse had just entered the room. Immediately, Trinity jumped out of the bed and went to lean against a wall. The nurse, a chubby blond woman with a friendly smile, told her she could go back to bed. Trinity nodded but didn't move. She couldn't. Now she felt her world spinning too, but the reason had nothing to do with illness.

The nurse injected Neo with a drug to prevent the spasms. He'd be soon feeling better, without any myoclonus for the next few hours. However, as she was leaving and he was looking at Trinity, he couldn't stop his hand from shaking. Aware of it, Trinity approached the bed and firmly held his hand until the tremor ceased.

He looked into her eyes thankfully. He didn't verbalize his feeling just because he didn't feel in the mood to hear some stupid phrase to play her meaningful action down. Instead, he said "come here" and she nodded. She understood. This time, she closed her eyes and let him guide her to his chest.

"How are you feeling?", she asked to avoid talking about more delicate matters.

"So-so. What's happened?". Her eyes glowed. It was just what she needed in that moment.

"Plug burnout".

"What?"

She then proceeded to tell him about that illness and how he didn't have to worry about it. He would soon be fine, back to the Neb. He felt curious and asked if she had ever suffered from plug burnout. She uncomfortably said that yes, twice, but that both times had been a long, long time ago. The body, she explained, got used quite quickly and, as a result, experienced soldiers barely ever suffered from plug burnout.

"Plus, you died or… I reckon-"

"Thanks", he cut her off, making her puzzled again.

"For…?"

"You saved me".

"I didn't. You are the One, you just-"

"I didn't know I was. You made me realize who I was. Out of the blue, everything made sense. And all because of you".

Bullshit. She was about to say it, but preferred to hold her tongue. He wanted to think she had saved him? Well, he was entitled to it, but she knew she hadn't. She had only explained her reasons to be sure he wasn't dead. For a second, she had been desperate. Only for a second. He was the One, her heart assured her that. Thus, he couldn't be dead. He only needed somebody to make him realize.

Neo made her stop thinking that kind things. He was looking at her with a completely determined expression, as if concentrating before doing something difficult. He seemed to find the courage and reached out for her forehead with his thumb and index finger. Then, he seemed to take something and pull it out, like a nail or a thread. A hair, she thought at first. But his hand was empty.

"A cloud", he explained.

"A what?"

"A cloud. A black one. Oh, wait. Don't move now". Trinity lifted her eyebrows just to see him pull a couple of "clouds" more. "There are so many of them".

"What are you talking about, Neo?", she spat rather violently.

"You have clouds. And your eyes are so sad. They're not eyes, they're just deep dark wells".

She sighed and shook her head with disbelief. Whatever. He gave her a concerned look. He felt something was going bad, something he couldn't define. He didn't know exactly what it was, but it was there, like a splinter in her heart. It was hurting, but he didn't know how to fix it. She wouldn't let him help her.

Instead, she touched his forehead. No, his temperature wasn't high enough for him to be delirious. She found it quite difficult to follow the thread of his thoughts simply because she understood them. And she didn't want to believe he was actually saying those things to her.

"I've dreamed about you", he confessed, almost ashamed to admit it in such circumstances.

"And what happened in your dream?"

"We got married".

Married, what a terrible word. Trinity had always hated it and its implications. What was the point in signing a stupid contract? It wouldn't guarantee love, prosperity or faithfulness. Therefore, it was pointless. Or that's what she'd always thought as a child. She would sit, usually on her own, just to disdainfully look how the other girls played with dolls while dreaming of marrying Prince Charming.

However, Zion had taught her a completely different notion of marriage. Of course, there were pompous ceremonies to celebrate the bond, as well as contracts of all kinds. Nonetheless, they weren't necessary. If two lovers considered themselves to be married, they were married. No need for bridesmaids, contracts or nasty cream-cake-look-alike dresses. Most of the couples in Zion that claimed to be married had used that method to establish their ties.

Trinity had witnessed one of those impromptu marriage ceremonies once. She was walking down a corridor when she saw a couple kissing passionately. When their lips parted, the woman said "my husband". "My wife", the man answered, his voice trembling with joy, "Now we're married". And they were. As simple as that.

"I want you to be my woman", Neo whispered when he considered she had been silent for too long.

"I am your woman". Neo ran his hand over her hair and shook his head. He was feeling sleepy again, but he wouldn't let himself go without talking to her first.

"No, not like that". Trinity thought about it for a few seconds before speaking again.

"You mean 'your woman' as in 'the woman of your life'?". Neo smiled and nodded with eagerness.

"And I will be your man, the proudest and happiest man in all Zion. I will try to make you happy every single day, we'll stay together until we're two grumpy old people". Trinity's lips drew a cynical smile. Soldiers didn't usually live to become grumpy old people. "And one day, Trin, if you want me to, I'll be the proudest father in Zion because you will be the mother of my children".

Trinity snorted and turned to lie on her back, a little bit apart from Neo. She wasn't sure of anything at that moment. She wasn't even sure that being with him was the right thing to do. And he was talking about babies, for crying out loud! She shook her head and started to get up, but her hearing stopped her dead in her tracks.

"You are my sunshine/ my only sunshine/ you make me happy/ you bright my day/ you'll never know, dear/ how much I wuv you/ so, please, don't take all my sunshine away", sang Neo with a childish voice and smile. Trinity found him so cute she had a hard time pretending to be irritated and she wasn't even sure she had succeeded.

"Very nice, Lousiana's anthem. Besides, the song is not like that".

"Oh. And how is it?", he played innocent. She had taken the bait.

"The lyrics say 'when skies are grey', not 'you bright my day'".

"But there's no sky in Zion!"

Trinity opened her mouth to say something, but words failed her. Checkmate. He had played a very intelligent game. She felt like getting up and leaving without a word. However, she couldn't. Her body wouldn't allow her. "Get up, Trinity", she thought to herself, as if she was trying to escape from agents. But she couldn't move.

"I love you. You're such an amazing woman. Do you believe in karma?"

"No".

"Me neither, because I don't know what a terribly good action I've made in order to get paid back with you".

"Maybe you did something bad".

"Indeed. I act badly and fate decides to send me a beautiful, intelligent, brave woman who falls in love with me and with whom I desperately fall in love. She sets me free, she saves my life several times and when I die, she resurrects me with a kiss. Must've been something horrible for sure".

Trinity looked away and swallowed. A tough chick like her would have never expected a situation like that. She had never looked for love, she had always considered it an undesirable complication. And now, there she was. And she didn't have a clue what to do or say.

"Did you really dream we got married?". She didn't recognize the squeaky voice that came out of her throat. Neo nodded and smelled her hair. He felt tired. And he decided he could use some cuddling and a nice nap snuggled up to Trinity.

"Yes. It was so beautiful. You looked lovely, you were smiling all the time. Such a gorgeous smile". He looked at her with dreamy eyes and kissed her lips, just a quick peck not to make her more nervous than she was. "Marry me, Trinity. We'll find a priest or-"

"A priest? No way".

He looked at her with his big brown puppy eyes. She could almost hear his heart breaking as though it was made of the most fragile glass. Neo thought Trinity had rejected him. He swallowed and was paralized with pain and disbelief. What had he done wrong? They both loved each other, why couldn't they be together, why couldn't they get married?

"Do you love me, Neo?"

"Yes, I do love you, Trinity", he answered quite bitterly, filling every syllable with pain.

"And do you still want me to be your woman?"

Yes, despite it all I do. But do you?" Trinity's eyes glowed so much they became the only light the room. Neo looked at her, astonished. He didn't understand a thing.

"I will be your woman as long as you are my man. Do you want to be my man, Neo?"

"Of course! Of course I want to. I just hope you don't regret having chosen me when we are at the old's people home and I wear false teeth".

Trinity laughed at his words. It was the first time Neo heard her laugh. Hers was a crystalline, childlike laughter. "Beautiful, just like all the rest", thought Neo. And since she was caressing his neck, he could kiss her, couldn't he? Apparently not. Trinity didn't let him. Instead, she held his hand and entwined fingers with him.

"I hereby pronounce you husband and wife", she stated ceremoniously, "You may kiss the bride".


End file.
